Traveling alone is easier than ever.
Not because the smartphones have created countries of socially awkward people that would choose a root canal over making eye contact, making it safe to walk the streets of where ever. Okay…maybe smartphones are a little to blame. NO: our mothers raised a generation of strong, confident and curious daughters. These superpowers have enabled us to go forth and push boundaries while making sure that we always keep one heel solidly on the ground.
The introvert part? Well, that’s what the Meyer Lemon Briggs survey told me: I’m a closet introvert.
The thought of traveling alone may seem daunting: It’s easy to feel lonely in a crowd. But the rewards of hanging solo are well worth the effort. Think of it as yoga for the mind: stretch it in ways it has never been.
To help you with your “stretching”, below are some things to keep in mind when you travel alone:
Common Sense
The super-secret tool that not everyone on this planet has (sadly). Be aware of where you are and the people around you. It also means don’t travel to a place that is the news a lot – that usually means it’s not a safe place. Exercising your common sense doesn’t mean you leave adventure at the door or let paranoia take over; it just means that you need to exercise the proper amount of caution and people savvy to stay safe. Common sense also will prevent you from wearing hot pants when visiting a 1,000-year-old church on a Sunday.
Friend du jour
I’ve often shared a table with a stranger or sat at the bar of a restaurant when dropping in for a meal. It’s not for everyone, but if you come across a gem of soul that is willing to share a table, you’ll learn about new places to check out, places to avoid, places to eat, places to shop. Locals love to share highlights of their city and only need an opportunity to get them going. I like to think of myself as Padawan learning about the Force of the City (Yes, I’ve seen the movies). Buy your new friend a drink as a thank you.
My time is my time
Traveling alone means you set the agenda and the pace. Taking some time to slowly wander allows you to take in the sights, the smells and the vibe of the place. Go where you want to go, when you want. I’ve often made lists of things I want to see, do, eat and carry with me as a reference. I’ll do whatever is on the list if the mood allows. Once in San Francisco, one day consisted of a huge breakfast, joining the 80-year-olds in their daily tai chi exercises before collapsing at Washington Park to just sit and read for an hour, moseying around in North Beach checking out the pastries, meatballs and drinking tons of coffee, then jumping on the double-decker red touring bus to listen to the history and highlights of the city. I ended the day at a steakhouse with lots of amusée from the chef who thought it was brave of little ol’ me to eat alone in such a fine establishment.
Be brave
This is your time to be who you want to be. Don’t be afraid to let yourself go….as long as it’s legal. Do something you’ve always wanted to; leave inhibitions at the door. Feel free to do it in small steps: wear something you would NEVER wear at home, do your make-up differently, let the waiter decide what you should eat. You’ll find that you’ll carry your braveness when back to the normal routine of your life.
Have a journal ready
Your mind will amaze you when you give yourself to you. Not everyone is a writer, but everyone can jot down thoughts, observations, things to remember, things to do next time. The journal also comes in handy when you want to take notes of things to do, places to go when you talk to locals. Don’t worry about style: this is the book that is meant for you and you alone. I often begin writing on the back page first, then insert pictures in the front section so I have mini-album to remember my trip by. The journal also includes my list of things I want to do & see so that I have a record, in case I want to re-visit and have a do-over.
Have fun
Do what you want. Having fun may mean breaking up your daily routines. My first day is: eat a big breakfast early in the morning, then eat lunch at 3p, then dinner at 8p, then roll my bloated butt to relax in a bubble bath with a tablet for a movie or a book until I get pruney. This is not my normal routine…I just want it to be. Don’t worry about how you are perceived. If you get weird looks, take the high road and know that they are jealous that they don’t have the kind of courage you do and move on. Don’t be like me: I took the low road and gave some people the stink eye…it didn’t end well as I ended up giving those people way too much space in my head than they deserved. (Side note: I did learn how to give very good stink eye, but still…)
Do a practice run
If you feel that traveling to a new place alone is too daunting, book a weekend alone in a hotel. Book a place you’ve always wanted to stay at or near so that you can take advantage of local sights and eats. You’ll be near home, but not at home. Need to pass time? Book a massage in the hotel. Afraid to eat alone in public? Order room service. Want to be completely lazy? Go ahead – you’re alone and no one is around to judge.
The joys of traveling alone far outweigh the fears. I’ve seen sunrises in a desert, a frozen waterfall, hiked to see a secluded waterfall, heard people tell their stories, had docents of museums and churches take me under their wing to share history, ate fabulous meals, watched the grunion run, got my massage upgraded, found new ways to relax and more. Each time I travel alone, I come back counting the days until I can leave to find a new happy place.