Being a mom of three elementary school-aged children teaches me one thing: nature is stronger than nurture. You cannot change the nature of your children, but you can nurture and cultivate the best version of who they are.
From the moment a child is born, they form ideas about how they relate to others and their environment by testing boundaries, challenging rules, and studying the reactions they get. As parents or guardians, we need to channel their desire to understand toward the biggest arena – the world.
Being globally minded opens more doors and breaks down barriers, allowing our children to imagine life beyond borders. So, what life skills can we prepare our children with to think globally?
1. Foreign Languages
Knowing other languages allows children to communicate with people from different countries and connect with their cultures. Even simple ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ in different languages will inspire smiles in native speakers.
2. Art
Art education teaches cultural awareness. A walk through a museum can show our children the important role artists play as social commentators and historical recorders. Seeing art from other cultures also teaches them that beauty comes in many colors and shapes. Museums usually offer a free day that you can bring your kids to explore works of art at no cost.
3. Music
We all know that music affects mood, but studies have also shown it to affect perspectives. Pro-social music (ex. ‘Help’ by the Beatles, and ‘R.E.S.P.E.C.T.’ by Aretha Franklin) can even lead people to be more considerate and empathetic. Music is also an international language that serves as a common bond. Learning piano from a high school student is an affordable option.
3. Empathy and compassion
Children learn empathy and compassion by being involved in activities that require them to do things for others and imagine themselves in their shoes. It exposes them to different ideas and perspectives. We can teach them these skills by talking about the challenges people face and what they can do to help. It can be donating toys to children in need, helping a friend in trouble, collecting toiletries for a half-way house, or walking a sick neighbor’s dog.
4. Social and team building skills
If you’ve ever heard ‘So and so doesn’t want to play with me,” you know how important fitting in is to your child. They can learn these skills by joining an organized sport or a group activity that teaches them to work with others toward a common goal. It can also help kids deal with conflicts in a productive way.
5. Flexibility and Adaptability
Being flexible and adaptable allows us to be open to change and the different ways people do things. We can teach our children by showing them that being out of their comfort zone is not a bad thing and even fun! It’s as easy as trying recipes from a different culture or as involved as traveling abroad. Here are recipes on how to make Thai chicken green curry and Vietnamese Chả Cá La Vong or turmeric fish with dills (pictured above).
What other ideas have you used to prepare your child to become globally minded?
This winter comes with a bad flu season. I was one such unlucky soul who had the flu that hit me like a Category 5 Hurricane deserving of a name. Then it morphed into a mean cold that left me weak and miserable. I couldn’t eat, barely slept, and felt like my inside was rotting. After I emerged from its claws, I was left a few pounds lighter and with a disabled taste palate.
But I had a girl trip planned. For those of us lucky enough to have loyal girlfriends we’ve known for most our lives, we know girl trips are sacred. It is when good friends dig themselves out of the heap of their busy lives to meet in one place and reconnect. Spend quality time. Have fun. So, I couldn’t miss it unless I was dying. And I was past death’s door.
This year we decided on New Orleans. Except for one, none of us had ever been there. We picked it for its jazz scene, the backdrop of French and Spanish colonial architecture, and its famous Creole food.
New Orleans’ heritage
New Orleans has an amazing history that speaks to its multi-lingual and multi-cultural heritage. It was a French colony founded in 1718. In 1763, the French ceded it to the Spanish Empire in the Treaty of Paris. Then it went back to the French in 1803. Shortly after, Napoleon sold it to the United States as part of the Louisiana Purchase. A flood of immigrants followed. Anglo-Americans, Germans, and Irish joined the Creole French and Spaniards, the refugees from Haiti, the Native Americans, the Mulattos or mixed-race people, and the Black slaves.
As one of the biggest southern ports, the city played a significant role in the slave trade. New Orleans was the nation’s largest slave market that supplied the surrounding sugarcane plantations and the rest in the south. The Civil War and the Emancipation Proclamation abolishing slavery changed its fabric. Many slaves left the plantations to join the Union military. Plantation owners lost a livelihood that fed their lavish antebellum estates and lifestyle. Slaves’ lives were no longer counted a part of New Orleans’ wealth. Over time it experienced a decline as more people migrated to the West coast where industries were growing.
With its unique culture and rich history, New Orleans has always been on my list of places to visit. I almost went there in 2005, but Hurricane Katrina happened. It devastated the city, drowning 80% of its land and killing 1,464 of its people. What it did not do was erase the friendly nature of its people nor ruin the strength of its spirit.
Twelve years later, I finally had my chance to experience New Orleans. I had dreams of eating fried chicken for breakfast, a mountain of crawfish for lunch, Étouffée for dinner, and beignets for midnight snack. But when my taste palate had short circuited and I could barely taste a thing, I had to re-jigger my plan.
Here’s a short list of the foods that I enjoyed. They woke up my pathetic palate, comforted my tummy and sandpaper-y throat, and fed my soul.
Citrus roasted chicken at Café Amelie
This cute restaurant was my first introduction to New Orleans’ culinary scene. Located in the French Quarter, it boasts a beautiful courtyard. At night it is lit with small hanging lights, making the setting romantic and dreamy. I usually do not order chicken at restaurants but I wanted something that was not going to shock my still battle-scarred throat. I was pleasantly surprised that I liked this simple dish as much as I did. The chicken was juicy and soft. The mashed potatoes that accompanied it was creamy and buttery. It was a sweet ‘hello, nice to meet you’ from the city.
Address: 912 Royal Street, New Orleans, LA
Raw oysters at Red Fish Grill
New Orleans is famous for its oysters. And I ate plenty of them. At 75 cents each during Happy Hour, the oysters at Red Fish Grill were cheap and cheerful. The fresh and sweet shellfish came with lemon wedges and cocktail sauce laced with horseradish. The ice-cold oysters went down smooth and soothed my throat.
Address: 115 Bourbon Street, New Orleans, LA
Chargrilled oysters at AcmeOyster House
Saturated in garlic, herb butter, and topped with a blend of cheeses, the chargrilled oysters were one of my favorite dishes in New Orleans. It came with slices of bread to soak up the delicious, ecstasy-induced sauce. We loved it so much we ordered it twice. I still think of it sometimes.
Address: 724 Iberville Street, New Orleans, LA
Shrimp bisque soup and Strawberry Shortcake at The Commander’s Palace
The Commander’s Palace has been an institution since 1893. With its robin’s egg blue Victorian architecture, you cannot miss this stately building in the Garden district. Most people go there for the 25-cent martinis. We went there after our walk at La Fayette Cemetery Number 1 where a part of “Interview with a Vampire” was filmed. The highlight at the Commander’s Palace was our waiter, Lorenzo. Originally from France, he migrated here in a move he called ‘destiny’. He treated us like special friends, embraced us with his gracious hospitality, and made recommendations that were thoughtful and surprising. He even escorted us to the restroom. What a gentleman!
The shrimp bisque soup was a soup du jour, and I was glad I ordered it. Its creaminess was balanced by the acidity from the tomato base. The shrimp was sautéed separately and had a delicious salty flavor. It was warm and comforting, just like our service. The shortcake is made of local fresh strawberries, served with buttermilk biscuit and topped with Chantilly whipped cream. It was a perfect ending to our meal.
Address: 1403 Washington Avenue, New Orleans, LA
Beignet and Café Au Lait at Café Du Monde
The 24-hour café sells my favorite beignets. They are crispy on the outside, soft and chewy on the inside. They’re served piping hot with a coat of powdered sugar that woke me up at first bite. But what I enjoyed even more was the Café Au Lait. It is mixed with chicory, a perennial herb that lives as a wild plant on roadsides in its native Europe. The Creole French developed this mix during the Civil War when coffee was a rare commodity. It softens the bitter flavor and adds almost a chocolate flavor, making the coffee nutty and mellow.
Address: 800 Decatur Street, New Orleans, LA
Chicken St. Charles Egg Benedict at the Ruby Slipper Café
Here was my chance to have fried chicken for breakfast. The Chicken St. Charles is made of fried chicken breast over a warm and crispy buttermilk biscuit, topped with two poached eggs. It was a quintessential southern dish, rich in calories and flavors.
Address: 1005 Canal Street, New Orleans, LA
Sukiyaki noodle soup at Sukhothai restaurant
Sukiyaki was originally a Japanese dish that transformed into one of the favorites in Thailand. It is a light soup made with vegetables, glass noodles, and seafood. What makes this dish special is the sauce of chili paste, fermented soybean, pickled garlic, sesame seeds, and cilantro. It’s not usually served in Thai restaurants in the U.S. We found Sukhothai in the Old French Quarter. The food there tasted as good as Thai food can be outside of the country. I ordered this dish mild with a side of extra sauce instead of the nuclear spiciness I usually enjoy, and it was delicious.
Address: 2200 Royal Street, New Orleans, LA
While I was disappointed in myself for not having my healthy taste palate in New Orleans, I made the best of it with what this diverse culinary city has to offer. I do plan to revisit and have a do over. Watch out New Orleans!
2018 is upon us. We’re older. Hopefully wiser. Definitely closer to our retirement age. So now is as good a time as ever to reevaluate our investment portfolio.
Don’t want to think about it? Most people don’t like to. My girlfriends and I can talk about most things but investment. “My husband does it.” “I use an advisor.” “I just put it in a savings account.” Maybe it’s because the terminologies are so confusing and the topic seemingly incomprehensible. But I’m hoping to change that. Our investment portfolio has a significant effect on our quality of life after we can no longer work (or want to work). Shouldn’t it warrant a more hands-on approach or at least a better understanding?
Photo credit: Mohamed Hassan @ Pixabay
Why is it important?
To know why it is important women take reins of our investment, consider a few statistics:
Of the 62 million wage and salaried women (age 21-64) working in the United States, only 45% participate in a retirement plan.
Social Security is based on earnings made in one’s lifetime. Women not only earn less than men (76% of what men earn, on average), but we also leave the workforce for an average of 12 years to care for family, making our overall earnings less.
So how do we close the gap? Make our money grow.
Photo credit: Nattanan23 @ Pixabay
How?
To begin wrapping our heads around the mechanics of investing, let’s compare it to something we are familiar with: Relationships. Why not? We all have relationships. Some of us are great at it. And what is the stock market but a web of relationships between companies, people, and governments. Sometimes it is emotional and manic-depressive. Other times it is optimistic and exuberant. So why not apply some of the skills we have gained in relationships to our investments?
Photo credit: Mohamed Hassan @ Pixabay
Get into a relationship with your investment account
Like any relationship, it begins with a hello.
There are several brokerage accounts out there. Choose one that works for you. Click here for a list of the best ones . Each has its own fees and minimum investment required to start.
I use Fidelity mainly because that’s where my 401k was held. But I stay because of their $4.95 trading fee, easy to use website, an abundance of funds and stocks to choose from, and lots of statistical information for my geeky research.
The process is simpler than you think:
Choose a type of account
Open an account (online, over the phone, or in person by walking into a branch)
Fund it
Choose investment options
A few types of accounts that you can open
Roll-over IRA – this allows you to move your retirement savings from your retirement plan at work (401(k) or profit-sharing plan to your Individual Retirement Account (IRA) tax-deferred.
Traditional IRA – a tax-deferred retirement savings account. You pay taxes on your money only when you make withdrawals in retirement.
Roth IRA – this is where you invest the money you already paid tax on. The best thing is because you already paid your tax before you contribute, your gains will be tax-free when you withdraw. The more you can build this, the less tax you’d have to pay when it comes time to retire.
Individual/Joint brokerage account – this is not a retirement account nor is subjected to its rules. But any gains is taxable.
To open an account
All you need is an identifying information (social security number, driver’s license, passport, etc.) and contact information.
To fund an account
You just need an account number and routing number if you are moving money from a bank, check or cash if in person, or your brokerage account number and account type if moving assets. Then start picking.
Photo credit: Nattanan23 @ Pixabay
Investment Strategies
Women are nurturers. We grow relationships. We see it through. So, it’s no surprise that on average more women than men like to ‘buy-and-hold’. This is not a bad thing. It just means we need to do more due diligence so we feel confident about the quality of what we’re getting.
Think of investment choices as the different people you have relationships with: some long-term, some a short-term affair. While in real life you should not be dating someone else while married, you can do this guilt-free in your investment portfolio. I follow investment philosophies of two different men. And they seem to be opposites. On one end is Warren Buffett and on the other is Mark Cuban. Two billionaires. Two different styles. But they coexist peacefully and play harmonious roles in building my retirement income.
Both Buffett and Cuban agree on one thing: invest in what you know. And if you don’t know, learn. How do we learn? We stalk, we watch, we google. If you’ve googled an ex, you already know the drill.
Photo credit: Mohamed Hassan @ Pixabay
Strategy 1: The marrying kind
Warren Buffet just won the $1 million bet he made in 2007 against Protégé Partners that hedge funds wouldn’t outperform an S&P index fund over a 10-year period. His philosophy is simple: invest 10% cash in short-term government bonds and 90% in a low-cost S&P 500 index fund.
U.S. government bond is a debt security issued by the government to support its spending. It’s essentially risk-free. It’s a rich guy borrowing your money. You know he’s good for it. You know where he lives.
S&P 500 index fund is an index of 505 stocks issued by 500 large companies. This guy is well established. Old money. Steady. He may not be into grand gestures, but he’s going to be home for dinner.
Even with these Steady Eddies, you still want to make sure you look closely at their pedigree. You’re going to be married to them long-term. Make sure these guys aren’t going to cost you a lot of money or have a hidden gambling habit. Google the best low-cost S&P 500 index fund and government bonds, and you’ll get endless links to advice blogs. Look for the same stock ticker symbols that come up over and over in various blogs and research them.
To spot quality, look for:
The companies they’re investing in and sectors – who do they hang out with
Expense ratio – what are they costing you
Ratings – their reputation
Dividend rate – the little quarterly or yearly gifts
Photo credit: Mohamed Hassan @ Pixabay
Strategy 2: The hottie you hook up with in a bar
Mark Cuban, on the other hand, believes that you should be a little bit of a risk taker and buy-and-hold is a sucker’s game. He thinks you must take emotions out of the game or you’re going to end up buying at the same time as everyone (translate: highest price) and selling at the same time as everyone (translate: lowest price).
What makes a stock rise and fall? Supply and demand. If more people want to buy a stock (demand) than sell it (supply), then the price increases. If more people wanted to sell a stock than buy it, there would be greater supply than demand, and the price would decrease. It’s all human-driven. Greed buying and panic selling will not do you any good.
So, what do you look for?
Solid companies.
Look at the everyday things that surround you. Look at where you shop, what you buy, why you buy them, and think of whether you would buy them again. Ask yourself if you believe in the companies that produce the product or provide the service. If you do, put them on a watch list (stalk and watch). The idea here to buy at the best price you can. Read up on them. Everyone is on the Internet. Look for a pattern – 1 year, 5 years, 10 years. If it’s a retailer, seasonality could cause a surge and fall within a year.
Even big companies can fall out of favor sometimes. Think of when Brad Pitt grew a beard. Less handsome. But underneath it’s still Brad Pitt. An example: Costco. I shop there. I like their business philosophy. When I looked at them last year, I saw that they were experiencing a dip. I couldn’t really see a valid reason. They were beating quarterly goals. They have money. I didn’t consider them a big risk. So, I bought some. Since then they have gained 25%.
Photo credit: Mohamed Hassan @ Pixabay
Emerging companies.
Before you discount these guys, Amazon was once a small company. So was Apple. Emerging companies are like the 20-something you meet in a bar in Silicon Valley. He’s handsome. He’s sexy. And boy, he’s charming. Especially when you’re drunk.
He talks about watching sunrise from a temple in Bagan. He’s not worried about how he’s going to finance it. It will come. He believes that if he thinks positively, things will happen. It’s fate.
Breath. Take one step back from his dream and look at your own vision of the future. Are you interested in this guy? What do you believe in? Energy, artificial intelligence, virtual reality, medication, self-driving cars? Look for new trends within those sectors and pick a few companies to keep your eye on. This is where you must do your due diligence and research. What is this company doing? Do other companies like their technology? Do they have other income streams? Are they buying other companies? Are they being bought?
You’re buying potentials here. There will be losers and there will be winners. Over time and with experience, you will be able to spot the losers and winners easier. Like dating. The trick is to only pick a few. You’re going to be nurturing this relationship. You’re going to learn what you can about it. With luck, fate, and understanding, you may just win yourself a Steve Jobs.
To spot quality, look for:
Earnings vs. Estimates – have they been beating their estimates in their quarterly reports? Does the guy talk the talk and walk the walk or is he just full of air?
P/E ratio – market value per share divided by earnings per share. This is how much people think the company is worth. If P/E is 20, it means investors are willing to pay $20 for every $1 the company earned. If 100, then people are willing to pay $100 for each $1 he earned. As with all things, some are ‘over-rated’ and some ‘under-rated’. There are stocks like Amazon that has P/E of 300 (expensive compared to earning). But high does not always mean bad if the company is reinvesting in its growth and has a lot to offer.
Stock price history – this will give you a gauge on whether you’re buying a stock at its height. All stocks will go through a cycle of dip and climb. There are undervalued stocks out there.
Photo credit: Mohamed Hassan @ Pixabay
Strategy 3: The man your age
He knows all the bands you listened to in High School. He’s on the same timetable. He tells you he wants the same things in life. He’s low maintenance. He seems to be everything you want in a partner. But dang, he’s expensive to keep. He’s a target-date fund.
Target-date funds are based on your age. You pick a fund with a target year that is closest to the year you anticipate retiring (ex. 2050). Then the fund does the rest.
The good: It holds the promise of accurate allocation of your portfolio as you age. More aggressive when you’re young. Less aggressive as you get closer to retirement.
The bad: 1) Not everyone retiring in a given year has the same risk tolerance, cash flow needs, and time horizon, 2) Cost is generally high when compared to index funds.
There is also a false sense of security. You are in the back seat. You’ll have no idea why a fund is high or low. Or what the managers are doing to change anything. This is the strategy for those who like to ‘set it and forget it’. But beware – like any stocks, there is risk involved.
Google ‘best target-date funds’ and you will be given a myriad of options. Do the same due diligence here. Understand fees, allocation, and quality related to the fund.
There you go. Investment talk. Not so bad was it? So, let’s do more of it.
It was two days after Christmas and 70 degrees Fahrenheit at Joshua Tree National Park. A clear azure sky and not a single cloud in sight. SPF 50 on our skin. A thin layer of sweat on our backs. While parts of the country were buried in snow, we were spending it wishing we were in shorts and t-shirts.
I used to feel really guilty when my colleagues in the Northeast would complain about slushy streets and snow storms while I enjoyed our temperate climate. But I’ve learned to accept it with a smile and a shrug. There are bad things about California (hello, fire and earthquakes!) but our winter is not one of them. Unfortunately, that’s not a secret. Snowbirds and out-of-staters have been flocking to the desert cities for years. Within the last ten years, Joshua Tree has become a popular destination. VERY popular in peak seasons. We were there during the kids’ winter break and there was a line of cars into the park. And a line of cars looking for parking in the filled up parking lot. But was it still worth it? Yes. Would we do it again? Double yes.
Where is Joshua Tree National Park?
It is where the Mojave and the Colorado deserts meet, with the western half being the Mojave and the eastern half the Colorado. Situated about an hour from Palm Springs, 2 1/2 hours from San Diego and Los Angeles, it is a short ride away to another world. 790,636 acres of it. On a map, the area is shaped like the Beatles Yellow Submarine. The northwest quadrant near the town of Joshua Tree is where the majority of the campgrounds and hiking trails are. Near the southern entrance is the oasis of Cottonwood Spring. The easternmost section of the park is roadless wilderness.
How to get there?
We took I-10 East until we approached a farm of wind turbines standing like futuristic sculptures against mountains that shot straight up into the sky. Then we exited CA-62 toward 29 Palms/Yucca Valley. From there it was 27 miles to the town of Joshua Tree and the park entrance. The CA-62 took us through the cities of Desert Hot Springs, Morongo Valley, and Yucca Valley where chain restaurants, grocery stores, residential neighborhoods, and tattoo parlors blended together in the golden light of the desert. There is a visitor center at the mouth of the entrance where you can stop for restroom, souvenirs, and coffee. There is another entrance to the south of the park off the I-10 at Cottonwood Spring, 25 miles east of Indio.
What’s its draw?
Joshua Tree National Park is one of 400 parks in the U.S. National Park System. My children called it an amusement park. These are the same children who do not like Disneyland so it’s not quite a verbatim analogy. But the amazing rock formations and the Joshua trees the park is named after that look as if straight from a Dr. Seuss book are a sight to behold.
Photographers will not be disappointed here. From the Joshua trees that look like a Medusa with multiple spiky heads and cholla cacti with pale prickles that glow in the sun to rocks that look like a gnome in a wizard robe, it’s hard to take a bad picture of the photogenic landscape.
Rock climbers come here gear jangling to get the adrenaline rush from scaling up the rocks that stack on the earth like Lego pieces some giants had forgotten to put away. Crash pads on their backs. Coils of colorful ropes attached to their REI backpacks. Sunglasses to protect their determined eyes. Watch out!
Stargazing is also a popular activity. Choose campgrounds away from the light pollution of the city to maximize your stargazing experience. The best are in the central and southern parts of the park. The Joshua Tree National Park Service website lists Cottonwood Campground on the southern end as having the darkest skies.
Birdwatchers can be found with binoculars hung around their necks. It being winter and teaming with humans, the only birds we saw were the cactus wrens who were hoping we drop food from our picnic table.
Is it family-friendly?
Yes! My kids had a blast discovering the nooks and crannies hidden between the rocks. They pretended to be explorers, the first to discover secret hiding places within the park. They squeezed through tiny spaces between rocks to rooms that they named ‘meeting room’, ‘squeeze room’, ‘resting room’, and ‘hard room’. Not very imaginative names, but it is a place where their imagination can run wild.
We explored the Hidden Valley trail, a loop that goes around a picturesque basin-shaped valley teaming with beautiful cacti, Joshua trees, rock formations, and pinyon pines. The one-hour trail was level in most places, with a few climbs over rock steps. It offered opportunities for our kids to climb boulders and dead logs, and meander around in a relatively safe environment. We passed women in flip-flops, toddlers toddling along, and fathers with children on their shoulders. It was not much harder than our usual walk around our neighborhood. Because it is an easy hike and a holiday week, it was quite busy. There were times we had to make room and wait for people to pass through the path.
There are other trails more vigorous and less populous. Here’s where you can see a list of 16 incredible hikes through the park. Even with its popularity, I would do the Hidden Valley trail again. Some of our family members have been there when they had the place to themselves. We just need to avoid weekends and long holiday breaks.
Joshua Tree National Park is a not-so-secret spot on the map in the desert. It will only become busier over time. But it is a wondrous destination that is worth setting a special visit in the middle of the week for. Maybe for your next mental health day?
I love to travel. Next to reading, it is one of the best ways to build empathy, resiliency, social intelligence, and knowledge. And I knew that once I had children, I wanted them to love to travel. But let’s be honest: while traveling with young kids can be fun, it can also be challenging. From international exploration to long road trips, here are 8 tips that help our family not only make the most of our adventures together but become better citizens of the world.
With a Sphinx at the Metropolitan Museum of Art
1. Think like they do
Children are not adults. They should not be expected to act like us. While they are innately resilient and open, they also have needs that are different. Even though we probably would never do a Disney resort trip, we’ve learned to build things into our travels that cater to our children. Think ice cream stops, places they can have hands-on experiences, bathroom breaks, and outdoor activities to get the sillies out. When we were in Cooperstown, we went on hikes in the woods. In New York City, we explored the different areas by foot and stopped at the playgrounds on our way to various destinations. Our kids love cats. So in the Metropolitan Museum of Art, we made sure to stop in the Egyptian wing to visit the Sphinx.
With the school children in Thailand
2. Teach them to think like others
Just being born in a relatively safe and prosperous country like America, our children are privileged. We remind them that they are lucky and that there are others in the world who are not as lucky. There are children in Israel and Palestine who have never known what it is to live in peace. There are kids in Cambodia and Mexico who grew up having to work as if they are adults. Not only is it important for us to make sure our children are aware of others’ plight, we also want them to know they can do something to help. For our last Thailand trip, our children collected toys from their friends and family to donate to a school in a Bangkok slum. They visited the school and met the children. It was heartwarming for me to watch my children help set the table for snack-time and show the other kids the toys they had brought to share.
Riding on a boat in Thailand
3. Set expectations
Children know what they know. And it is up to those responsible for them to share our knowledge. We talk to our children about the differences and similarities between the destination they’re traveling to and their hometown. What is the place like? What are the people like? What language do they speak? What will the weather be like? What food do they eat? What are some rules to be aware of? What are the words for ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. For Thailand, we warned our children that they won’t be getting waffles and bagels for breakfast and that they would have to eat whatever is available. While they may not like the idea, knowing this in advance prepared them to not be disappointed nor surprised.
At the 9/11 Memorial
4. Be transparent
Have honest conversations. Our children’s safety has always been the most important thing for us. We make sure they understand the rules to stay safe. What are some dangers in the places they’re going to (ex. animals and plants to be aware of)? How is traveling in the city different from being in the country? When we went to Manhattan, I let my children know that there would be mobs of people in many places we go. I told them the importance of staying close to us. We talked about riding the subway and what they need to do if they are separated from us. They had to memorize the name and location of the hotel we were staying at. We answered their questions as honestly as we can without scaring the crap out of them. When my children asked about security at the airport, we told them about 9/11 and how the country changed rules to provide more safety. At the 9/11 memorial, they asked the reasons the terrorists killed innocent people. We told them while we can never truly understand and plan for atrocities, what we can do is to not let them stop us from being happy.
At Chapman Lake in NE Pennsylvania
5. Allow them to make (some) choices
While being children means their needs are taken care of by adults, it also means they don’t often have much control over decisions. When we travel, we try to make them feel like they are a part of the decision-making process, however small it may be. I let my children look at hotel options and talk through the good and bad of staying there. We look at the photos and read reviews together to decide whether it fits our family’s needs. Each family member takes a turn choosing the food we want to eat and we search for restaurants together on Yelp. There were times in New York City our kids just wanted pretzels. Even though many wonderful foods were around, we let them eat what they wanted. By giving them a say in our travel plan, they know their ideas matter.
With dinosaur bones at the Natural History Museum
6. Be thoughtful with providing educational experiences
I like to think of traveling as a mini classroom with personal attention. We insert tidbits of history and knowledge into whatever we see. When we visited the Sequoia national park, we talked about President Theodore Roosevelt and his legacy in creating the national park service. We talked about how long Sequoia trees live and the importance of trees in our environment. When we went to a little village in Thailand that lost its land due to global warming and erosion, we planted mangroves and talked about its role in slowing down land loss. Educational experiences are everywhere. And when we didn’t know the answer (which were often), we just googled it.
A view from above Taipei
7. Encourage them to try new things
It’s easy to stay in our comfort zone. One of the reasons I love traveling is that it pushes me outside my comfort zone. And as a result, I would usually gain something meaningful out of it. We encourage our children to try something new on each trip. From food to activities, we want to instill in them a sense of adventure. And we jump in with them. One of our family mottos is “Try it. You might like it.” On our drive to San Francisco, we saw a sign for ‘garlic ice cream’. We found the stall, stopped, and bought one to share. While not everyone liked it, some of us did. How else would we learn?
On a floating hotel in Thailand
8. Know when and where to bend and to stand firm
When we travel, the first thing to fly out the window is bedtime. The second thing to go is the no-sweet-after-dark rule. Every family is different in their values. What’s important is that you know the negotiables and the non-negotiables. With us, when it comes to safety, that’s non-negotiable. Time-outs will be enforced swiftly when our children do something to endanger themselves or others.
Walking the streets of Cooperstown
I know the above is not a traditional list of what to do and what not to do when traveling with children. They are more philosophical ideas that I hope would set the stage for what you can do to raise children who will not only become happy travelers but responsible and empathetic citizens of the world. As parents and guardians, no one knows our children better than we do. And it is up to us to curate experiences that will help our children be the best of who they are.
A story about how a little village in Thailand is using ecotourism to raise itself from the mud and teach people to save the environment.
Ban Khun Samut Jeen is a village on stilts in Samut Prakan Province, Thailand. It reminds me a bit of the movie Waterworld, a 1995 film starring Kevin Costner about a post-apocalyptic world underwater. Due to global warming and erosion, a large part of the village was completely wiped off the map. To keep their plight on the map, the villagers promote ecotourism through their Homestay. A part of the profit helps support programs that combat erosion and educate people on how to save the environment.
Their Homestay was a great deal. For the price of 600 baht ($18) per adult a night, you get lodging, three delicious authentic Thai meals, and a learning experience. Even though it is only 19 kilometers from chaotic Bangkok, it feels as if you are a world away. Located where the Chao Phraya River meets the Gulf of Thailand, it is accessible only by boat. It was not the easiest place to get to. But it was well worth the trip.
To get there, we used the toll road from Bangkok to Samut Prakan. We followed directions to Pa Ree Port, “ท่าเรือป้ารี่”. (GPS coordinate 13.550067, 100.531123). We got there at dusk and parked the car overnight for 100 baht ($3). Across the parking space is the port where we hired a longtail boat to Ban Khun Samut Jeen port, “ท่าเรือบ้านขุนสมุทรจีน(บ้านผู้ใหญ่สมร)”. For our entire group, it cost only 150 baht ($4.50).
We raced along green tea-color waterways for 15 minutes and reached the port by nightfall. Our adventure did not end there. The port is about a 10-minute walk away from our destination. We dragged our suitcases on a raised dirt embankment flanked by water on each side (note: only bring backpacks next time). The darkness around us did not help. Along the way, we heard splashing and gurgling sounds from the water. Thankfully we had strong flashlights to light to way.
We arrived tired and hungry at Ban Khun Samut Jeen Homestay. The owner, Puyai Samorn, was not expecting us. It was completely our fault we did not call from Bangkok to confirm and had arrived so late they had thought we canceled (note: always call to confirm our stay next time). They scrambled to cook us dinner and set up a hut for us. It is a beautiful wood structure with thatch roof built on stilts over the water. Wood plank walkways guarded by friendly dogs connect it to the main building, restrooms, and other huts.
The traditional Thai meal served was amazing: deep-fried shrimps and fish, steamed crab and clams, sour soup with seafood, and Thai omelet (sorry, no pictures because we were too hungry). After we filled stomachs to the brim, we retired to sleep under mosquito nets on pads on the hardwood floor. It was not a 5-star place but it was authentic, which, to me, beats luxury on most days.
In the morning we woke up to the sun rising over the Gulf and a delicious breakfast of shrimp rice soup. Our guide came to pick us up with a full itinerary (also included in the price). He was there to give us an education on the village and what they are doing to promote ecotourism.
He took us to plant mangrove trees along the coastline, a project started by the villagers to help with erosion. They had also built sea walls to keep the entire village from being swallowed by the Gulf. Because they did not receive enough government help, they had to raise money from corporations and fundraisers to build them. The walls and the mangroves have been the most effective ways of slowing down land loss.
We also visited a Buddhist temple in the middle of the ocean and accessible only by a long bridge. It was once partly under water. Now it sits lonely on an island. People had to excavate it out of the muddy water after they built the sea wall. Evidence of water damage is in the peeled walls and raised wood plank floors.
Among the amazing sea life we saw were fiddler crabs and mudskippers, fishes that could glide around on their fins. As we looked out toward the Gulf, our guide pointed at the poles sticking up in places. “These were utility poles. During low tide, sometimes you can see roofs of homes, hospital, and school that are underwater,” he said.
After, he took us on a walk around the village (what’s left of it). There were a cute elementary school and wood homes nestled among mangrove trees. Along a part of the beautiful paths were plastic bags and bottles – trash from Bangkok washed downstream into this coastal village. I asked about recycling and trash collection. The guide replied sadly that no matter how often they picked up the trash there would be more. Being so close to a major city, it is a receptacle of things carried by the river. It has to start at the source.
After a delicious seafood lunch, we bid farewell to the wonderful people and friendly dogs. Ban Khun Samut Jeen is one of the most special places we have visited. It is a hidden gem that is both a cautionary tale and a hope. It has suffered at the hands of humans – by our reckless behaviors and series of bad decisions. If we can save it, then it would prove that what humans damage we can also fix. It is not too late.
To contact the Homestay, send a message through their Facebook page.
Since I talked about Thai food last week, this week I feel compelled to bring you Indonesian food. And because it’s Thanksgiving week, I’m going to honor the turkey as well.
While I never grew up in Indonesia, a country made up of over 17,000 islands, I was raised on the food. I was a fourth generation Indonesian in Kampong Java, an Indonesian enclave in the heart of Bangkok, Thailand. Our family house is a stone’s throw from a mosque, Masjid Java. In a country where glittering gold Buddhist temples dot the landscape, living next to a mosque with a multi-tier roof mimicking Javanese architecture was pretty special.
Our neighbors were also Indonesian-Thais who had been there for generations. Most everyone has two names: a Muslim name used at home and a Thai name used at school and work. On special occasions, we dress in Indonesian batik and kabaya, a blouse made of intricate lace.
While I was growing up, life in the neighborhood revolved around special occasions: births, weddings, birthdays, Qur’an graduation, deaths. Before Bangkok exploded into the metropolis it is today, before 8-foot concrete fences were erected between houses, I remember a time when the women of Kampong Java would get together to cook meals for these special events. They worked together to cut meat, vegetables, and heaps of garlic. One would handle the fryer, another manned the rice, while another took care of the curry. The sound of chatting and laughing could be heard a block away, quieted only when the mosque announced the azaan, the call to prayer.
The food that came out of their kitchens was gorgeous. There were boiled eggs dyed red on top of yellow rice for birthdays, aromatic goat curry for the Feast of Sacrifice, and lontong with vegetable coconut curry for Eid al-Fitr. Lontong is traditionally made by pressing rice soaked in water into a cylinder made of banana leaf, and boiling until cooked. Once done, the rice would be unwrapped and cut into pieces to eat with mild curry as a main dish or drizzled with syrupy brown sugar and topped with grated coconut as dessert. Growing up here when I did taught me about the beauty of food, tradition, and comradery played to the background of Muslim and Buddhist chants.
The problem with that is I am ruined. Nothing would ever measure up to the perfection of my memory when it comes to Indonesian food. And there are no restaurants that serve lontong within a 50-mile radius. The dilemma is very much like an American looking for Thanksgiving turkey in Thailand (the position we were in in 2016).
So, what would a person who doesn’t like to cook do when she craves food from her memory that she cannot get in San Diego County? She makes it up with the help of a tiny Indonesian food section at 99 Ranch. And like most food I make, this does not require too much effort.
Ingredients:
Lontong
Uncooked rice cake (Nona brand)
Curry (lodeh)
Turkey –1 lb cubed (or use left-over Thanksgiving turkey cut into pieces)
When I tell strangers I’m Thai, one of the first things they tell me is that they love Thai food. My reply is usually, ‘so do I’. What’s not to like about Thai food?
I grew up in Bangkok, a crossroad of Asian cuisines. For many years I was raised by one of the best cooks in the world – my paternal grandmother, Yupa. She was part Indonesian, part Chinese, and part Thai (although I’m not sure of the percentages). And her cooking was as diverse as her blood.
Grandmother is 2nd from left, back row
She was always in the kitchen preparing meals for her family using fresh ingredients bought at the wet market each morning. She would give me a precise list of what to buy, down to the color and number of chili peppers. And I would know by looking at it what we’d have for dinner.
To a child of eleven, the wet market in the morning was like a perfectly choreographed musical. Sellers sang the names of their goods. Bells tinkled as bicycles weave through the crowd. Steam rose from metal drums filled with soy milk and porridge. Stalls lined up one after another in an explosion of colors and textures.
Each stall was specialized. I would have to go to five, sometimes, six stalls to get all the ingredients for one dish. One for chicken and beef. A couple for vegetables and herbs. One for shrimp paste. A store just for coconut. Everything was as fresh as they can be.
Many of my clearest childhood memories are from that wet market. The sound of cleaver severing meat from bones. The bright saffron color of monks’ robes. The scent of coconut meat going through the grinder. I can still smell it. Creamy and earthy, with a tinge of burnt wood.
Curry was one of my grandmother’s staple dishes. To make the curry paste, she would wrap shrimp paste in banana leaf and grill it over an open flame before blending it with a mixture of garlic, shallots, galangal, and chili pepper I had pounded with stone mortar and pestle. For coconut milk, she would massage the ground coconut with water until the liquid turn opaque white. She did not follow instructions from a cookbook. There was none in our house. She cooked with her taste buds and her talented hands.
Despite having spent countless hours in the kitchen as a child, I don’t like to cook. Unlike my grandmother, I don’t have the fortitude nor a lot of time and energy to spend in the kitchen. But I love to eat and I have a good taste palate. So, when duty calls, I go for dishes that are high in flavors and low in fussiness – those that meet the 80/20 Rule. If I can get 80% satisfaction from 20% input, the dish will be a part of my repertoire.
One of my signature dishes is chicken green curry. And it’s pretty awesome. I have shared the recipe with several friends and it has become a staple in their homes as well. It’s not my grandmother’s green curry but you can make it in 20 minutes. I have even made it in 15 minutes under duress.
Without the luxury of a wet market, I use canned coconut milk, curry paste, and bamboo shoots (picture above). They can easily be found at 99 Ranch or Vietnamese market. I highly recommend going during the week. They’re zoos on the weekends.
Ingredients:
Cooking oil – 1 Tbs
Garlic – minced 3-4 cloves
Green curry paste (Mae Ploy brand) – 2 Tbs or more
Coconut cream (Mae Ploy brand)
Boneless Chicken breast – 1 ½ – 2 lbs chopped into small pieces
Fish sauce (Phu Quoc brand if available) – 3 Tbs
Chicken broth – ½ can
Bamboo shoots (Aroy-D brand in strips) – 1 can drained and rinsed
Peas and carrots – ¼ bag frozen
Thai eggplants – 10 fresh and quartered (if available)
In a pot, heat oil and cook garlic until light brown
Add 2 Tbs green curry paste, mix with garlic
Add 1 can of coconut cream, mix thoroughly with curry paste until pale green in color and allow to boil
Add chicken and 2 Tbs fish sauce, reserve the rest to taste
Once boil add ½ can of chicken broth
Add Bamboo shoots, Thai eggplants, peas and carrots
Sprinkle in brown sugar
Taste, then add more curry paste if you want it to be spicier and more fish sauce if you want it to be saltier, or add more chicken broth if you want it to be milder
Add sliced red bell pepper
Let boil once more, then sprinkle with basil leaves and kefir lime leaves
Enjoy!
I’d love to hear your experience in making this dish in the comment section.
